Want to listen to the entire interview? Just click the above link!

If you’re dealing those tender years that fall between high chairs and high school, then this show is for you!
We’re talking to parent coach, Meghan Leahy, who shares some of the wisdom you’ll find on her website, Positively Parenting.

From two to twelve, being a great parent to this age group is challenging, exciting, frustrating and fun – but Meghan will shed some light on the things you should be doing
.
A few of the topics we cover includes:
• Timeouts? Yes or no?
• Sibling rivalry
• Over-scheduled kids
• What your kids really need from you
• How to gain control over your family’s schedule

Stick around. It’s a fun show full of useful information!

Want to listen to the entire interview? Just click the above link!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. And I find myself going back to qualities of character. Things like self-control, grit, self-confidence, gratitude, perseverance. There’s many more. Including one of my favorites: handling failure.

The older my kids get (and the older I get!), the more I realize that these are the traits I care about most. And more and more studies are showing that kids who DON’T have these qualities of character have a tougher time in just about all aspects of life: school, work, and relationships.

So today we’re talking about character. My guest is Jeff Wenzler, the executive director of Pivotal Directions, a nonprofit whose mission is to transform the lives of kids through character and leadership development.

Jeff shares some pretty interesting perspective on character – especially the implications to kids and society in the absence of character. His insight in working with teens will not only inspire and educate you, it will help you look at your own children – regardless of their age – and explore the ways you can open the doors for them to further strengthen and discover their own unique character.

It’s a great topic. Thanks for stopping by.

NOTE: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU! I WANTED TO SHARE THIS AGAIN – AS WE SHOW OUR LOVE TO MOMS EVERYWHERE…

Hi Mom,

So where do I start? It’s hard to believe that you died 38 years ago. A lifetime.

Yeah. Whatever that term means.

For you that meant 49 years. I’ve already had more time here than you were given. I think about that often, Mom. When you died, I didn’t think of you as old. Or young. You were just Mom. And since I was only 14 I couldn’t put into perspective how tragic the whole thing was. It happened so fast. Eight days from the time you got sick.

Eight. I have a basket of dirty sheets in the laundry room that’s been sitting there for more than eight days. It’s amazing how quickly the world – and our life – changed.

The day after you died, I was sitting on the front porch of the house. There were too many people inside and everyone was saying really stupid things to me. I wanted to be alone. But then Coach A walked up to the house. Remember him? I know you always liked him. He had all those boys. Like us. And he sat down with me. He really didn’t say anything for a long time. Until.

“Your mom taught you a lot,” he eventually said. “Ya gotta keep those lessons alive.”

And all I remember thinking was that I had no idea what those lessons were.

~

You’ll be glad to know that I’ve come to figure a lot of them out. Not the whole thing. Yeah, I still I get regular nuggets of your wisdom. They come out of no where. As do most of the meaningful things in my life.

~

I still fantasize about having you back. Even for a day. You know, I can’t remember your voice any more. That’s probably the one thing I hate most. I have photos of you and letters from you. But I have nothing with your voice. And I don’t remember it. I know you laughed often. So when I picture you, you’re smiling. Or laughing. And cooking. And doing laundry. And driving. And cheering.

Did you ever tire of baking cookies?

~

You’re smiling, aren’t you. My comment about those nuggets of wisdom coming out of nowhere is making you smile. I know.

That’s Lesson #1, isn’t it? You have to be present in your life to receive the gifts waiting for you.

But you never really told me that, did you? I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway. But you lived it. You really did, Mom. You did a lot of things right. You had a few struggles here and there. How could you not? You lived in a fraternity house with six guys! But what you did perfectly was simply live in the moment. In body. In emotion. In spirit. You were brilliant with that. Brilliant.

Now that I’m a parent I know how hard that really is. And I know how tempting it is to get distracted by so many other things – thinking they’re important. But you were really good at staying focused on the things that were in front of you. Which for you usually meant five boys. (And by the way, major points to you for always shooting down anyone who tossed you a negative comment about how hard it must be to raise a bunch of boys. Your comeback line only made us love you more. And I hope you really did feel like you were the “luckiest mom” on the planet).

It’s a crazy world – these days – Mom. And parenting is a hot topic. There’s a lot of debate over which way is better, who’s better, who has it all, who doesn’t, what kids need, what kids don’t need. The debate (and passion) is really too much. Sometimes I think we debate and argue and judge at the expense of just being there for our children.

So I just try to focus on the simple things. I try to be there for my kids. Your grandkids. (You’d love them all, by the way. Kevin has your sense of adventure. Wallis, your strength and determination. And Drew is the most compassionate kid you’ll meet). They all carry a bit of you into the world.

I try my best to be there for them. Flaws and all. I try to validate them as people. I try to show them through my actions that they matter. I try to live a life that constantly reinforces to them that they are my priority. Above all.

Because you were my mother, I am a better father. And I know that how I choose to fill my days matters.

And I know that the smallest things I do as their parent – even the seemingly unimportant or mundane things – are the very things that matter most.

Keep it simple, right?  And be present. I’m slowly figuring it out, Mom.

After all, as our family well knows, you never know what curveball today – or the next eight days – will bring.

~

You were a wonderful mother. I’m sorry I never told you that. You planted goodness in the world, Mom. An expansive forest of goodness.

I’m awfully proud to be your son. And I love you very much.

Jim

~

Want to listen to the entire interview? Just click the above link!

If you read nothing more today, please read this statistic: When a child has one caring adult in their life, their level of confidence in the classroom increases 65%.

65%!

Is that not an extraordinary statistic? Does that not give you – as an adult – a sense of having an incredible “super-power” of sorts to support the children in your life?

Today, we’re joined by Tara Brown, a wise, thoughtful educator who has spent over 25 years supporting children, their parents and teachers. She’s known as the Connection Coach to many. But I like to think of her as the Teen Whisperer because she brings a very special gift to relationships with our teens.

In today’s show, Tara talks about the importance of helping your child find their own special “spark” – that thing or things that excite them beyond their wildest dreams. She’ll talk about the benefits to kids who are raised believing that they CAN find and live their dreams – and that they have parents and adults who believe in them and support them through through their journey.

Tara shares examples of high-profile parents who have done it right and have dared to be courageous in supporting their children. And she’ll give you five specific things you can do to help light that spark.

Stick around. No matter what your child’s age, you will learn a lot!

I saw some little boys fishing in a lake near our house the other day which started my mind on a little journey down memory lane…

I took my 10-year-old son Kevin on a father-son fishing trip to Canada a few years back. The week’s catch included 83 northern pike, 133 walleye and—as Kevin likes to put it—a Canadian criminal record for Dad.

Our adventure started with a flight from Chicago to Winnipeg. The itinerary included a quick layover before we hopped on a little puddle-jumper to take us to our final destination. That would be the connection we never made.

During the descent into Winnipeg, I started to rattle off directions to Kevin about which bags I wanted him to carry as we maneuvered on to our next flight. I double-checked his backpack to make sure it was zipped, triple-checked our connecting flight information, and made sure I had our passports and forms ready to get through Customs.

I also gave Kevin a crash course on Customs etiquette.

“These guys are like the police,” I told him. “Don’t goof around. No monkey business.”

Leg one of the journey was almost done and we were right on schedule.

My dialogue with the Customs Officer was by the book.

Officer: “What brings you to Canada?”

Me: “I’m taking my son on a fishing trip up north.”

Officer: “How long will you be in Canada?”

Me: “We’ll return a week from today, sir.”

Everything seemed routine to me. The guy looked at Kevin and smiled. Just a couple stamps were needed and we’d be on our way. But then, he glanced again at Kevin who now was sporting a Canadian goose-in-the-headlights kind of look.

I was no longer a part of this conversation.

“Son,” the Customs Officer said, “tell me who this man is that you’re traveling with.”

Then came those words out of the random world of this 10-year-old that forever changed the course of our trip. “I don’t know who he is!” Kevin cried. “I want to go home!”

Before I could even process what he had said, before I could begin to spit the words out of my mouth that were trapped in my throat,  before I could try to help bring some parental explanation to the little joke my son was apparently playing, I found myself bookended by two police officers.

And, I discovered how uncomfortable handcuffs could be.

♦◊♦

During the next two hours I learned what drug smugglers go through when they are greeted by officials in foreign countries. Kevin, I later was told, was taken to a room where he played video games.

It’s a funny feeling, being locked up under those circumstances. Job one, I knew, was to convince these folks that this was all a kid’s silly joke, that I’m a loving dad, that life is copacetic, and we should all laugh at this “goofy kid” moment and move on. But they weren’t buying my story.

“Why would he say that, sir?” they kept asking me.

How was I supposed to respond? Was I supposed to say he was a nutty kid and they should be more concerned about what I was contemplating doing the minute I got him alone?

We went round and round. I was their fish at the end of a line. They’d reel me in and then randomly let out the line. This was sport.

They finally got tired. Or bored—I don’t know. Maybe their shift was over. Either way they handed me all of my paperwork  before leading me out into the hall where I found Kevin, sitting, holding a slice of pizza.

“You’re free to go,” one of the Custom Officers said to me as she pointed in the direction I needed to walk. “Have a nice trip.”

And Kevin and I were suddenly alone in an empty back hallway.

“Are you out of your mind!?” I screamed at Kevin in the loudest, whispering voice I could manage. Kevin’s face now burst into Niagra Falls.

“Are you, you, you okay?” he managed to ask me through his hyperventilating quivers.

“Alright. Stop crying. Let’s go,” I said as I started pulling all our gear together. “I don’t want to get arrested again.”

We caught another flight a few hours later, which gave us a lot of downtime in the Winnipeg Airport. Though tempted, I never revisited the topic that day. Some lessons don’t need to be hammered in.

And some lessons eventually become great family folklore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbWzQRAmpDo

Yup, I’m  Soy Vay® Ambassador! And they have not only provided me with Soy Vay® products, they’ve also compensated me to be part of the fun! But trust me, I never, ever write about something I don’t believe in!

Here’s their Facebook Page!

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From the Higley family archives, I’m proud to share my (now 23-year old) son’s first business trip with dad. I was bringing my kids to work long before it was cool!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dssR4Pk4ajs

“You’re living in a  f*%king cancer circus. Can’t you just move on and put it in the past?”

When you’re traveling through a cancer journey, you hear a lot of crazy things. But that was the craziest thing I heard. If not the cruelest.

Yup.

Well, my friends, that cancer circus began eight years ago today.

And in my books that makes me an eight-year survivor. April 24 is the day my doctor called me at home on a Sunday afternoon to share my biopsy results. Life’s never been the same since. I say that not for drama. It’s just a fact.

I feel an emotional connection with this date. April 24. It’s right up there with my birthday and the birthdays of my three kids.

Over these last few years I’ve tried to write a positive, upbeat post about life as a survivor every April 24. It’s usually good stuff. At least I hope so. But it’s how I’ve felt. I’ve felt enriched by the experiences I’ve had in the past years. And, as Hallmarky as it sounds, I really do think that every moment is a gift.

I’m also abundantly aware that my eight year string of good news could change with another phone call on any Sunday afternoon. This time coming – in my mind – when my most recent quarterly blood tests come back with a curve ball.

Ahem.

But I don’t feel like writing about that today. The truth is, I’m actually feeling a little weighted down these days. For lots of reasons. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not going through anything more difficult than most of you, I’m sure. But they are things that unsettle me. Scare me. Make me feel a little vulnerable. Totally vulnerable.

And that’s okay.

Because, you see, that’s the flip-side of my post-cancer world. Life’s not 100% rainbows and puppy dogs. As we all know, rainbows often follow intense, pounding storms. And puppy dogs poop in the living room.

Welcome to life. Right?

Which brings me to what I’m thinking about on this eight year anniversary.

How do I deal with adversity? (Yes indeedy, even positive-thinking cancer survivors struggle with this!) For me, the cancer circus I apparently live in has taught me that I basically have three choices to make every day:

1. I can pull the covers up over my head and go back to bed.
2. I can go through my day, but choose to disconnect from the things and people twirling around me – focusing soley on the target of the day.
3. I can jump in to my day with both feet. Engaged. Embracing the serendipity. And sift through the crud that occasionally shows up.

Click above to listen to the entire interview!

We’re joined today by author James Braly, author of Life in a Marital Institution - a memoir about a marriage told from a guy’s perspective.

I read this book yesterday and have to tell you that it was one of the most entertaining reads I’ve had in a long, long time. It’s based on Braly’s critically acclaimed one-man show of the same name. You’ll enjoy this journey as Braly takes you through his mid-life reflection of the world and life he’s living as he stands by the bedside of his dying older sister.

Sounds heavy?

Well, while the subject matter is certainly heavy, it’s a highly entertaining (spelled “F-U-N-N-Y”) chronicling of an everyday guy who invites you along on a very revealing self-reflective journey.

Be you a man – or woman – you’ll enjoy this. But be prepared to do some self-reflecting yourself!

The country’s top baby doctor, Dr. Harvey Karp, stops by Bobblehead Dad Radio today to share great tips to help your baby and toddler sleep great!

Dr. Karp is author of the best selling series, “The Happiest Baby”, and talks today about his new book, The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep which is loaded with information that will help you get off to the right start with your new baby. And improve the sleeping habits of your older kids.

Dr. Karp shares a number of great tips addressing:

• Where a newborn baby should sleep
• The importance of white noise (and what makes the perfect white noise)
• Why you should “wake up” your little one before putting them to bad
• How to minimize nighttime feedings
• The importance of swaddling
• And much, much more!

Stick around! There’s lots to learn!