Recyclable Road Kill

Posted May 14, 2010 by jimhigley

I found the newest edition of the Yellow Pages sitting out at the base of my mailbox near the street the other day. It was like finding road kill.

I stopped bringing these books into the house several years ago. They no longer were used for anything other than weights to sit atop a kid’s school project that involved glue. Like many people, my fingers no longer walked through the directory pages. They raced through the internet.

And, this directory, all 1-3/4″ of it, started going immediately into the recycling bin.

This year, however, I decided to give the book one more try. Who knows, maybe I was acting irrationally? Maybe it deserved another chance?

So I took the lifeless book inside and started thumbing through the canary-colored pages. Insurance. Physicians. Restaurants. All the same old regulars. But, I paused when I came to “Online Dating Services.” Really? There were three vendors listed. And all I could think about were those lonely people looking for love and getting lost somewhere between the Yellow Pages and the real action on the internet.

I started getting really mad about the time I noticed the statement on the cover claiming that the book was “100% Recyclable.”

That only made me want to figure out just how much recyclable waste these books generated each year. And, guess what I figured out (thanks to the help of some quick internet research, I might add)? If every household in the country received the same book I received, they would stretch all the way from L.A. to D.C.!

I knew there was only one thing left for me to do.

I flipped to the “R” section and looked up “Recycling Centers.” It was located between “Recruiting-Armed Forces” and “Reducing & Weight Control Services.” So, I found a listing that advertised “bulk paper recycling” and gave them a call.

“Hello,” I said in my most polite voice. “Do you offer pick-up services?”